Since, college in 6th grade, my classmates have asked me about my hairstyle.
Why did I wear my hair natural?
According to them, it made me look childish…
None of the girls with Afro hair at the time had theirs in their natural state, it was not normal, but it was not really a problem for me.
My father often told me about his late mother who had taken care of her hair with such pleasure.
So, I always liked to comb, put flowers or leaves in my hair to go to church. I always loved playing with it, wearing scarves.
All in all, I chemically treated my hair for 3 years at different times. Relaxed, curled or wavy, I considered it was not me, for the simple reason that I had to go back to the hairdresser to maintain this choice of hairstyle.
Then, I wore locks, not because it was easier or a fashion trend,
I was on the contrary very friendly with the comb.
I made locks to meet the wish I had made to myself. A vow, I never unveiled to anyone. In hindsight,
I have today, I would like to speak about it.
I will then, reveal my secret.
As soon as something wouldn’t suit me, before I used to be quite bad-tempered and I would raise my fist to the sky. Challenging God, the Universe, Life or any superior force supposed to take care of me. I was castigating and making a fool of myself, for I had the sensation of sinking into my anger.
Dread means fear and locks blocked. So there is a whole attitude and a state of mind at the origin of this hairstyle.
Then, in 2012, I decided to stop reacting in this way to develop respect and above all an unwavering self-confidence.
I started my locks and seeing them or taking care of them, always reminded me of this vow.
I pledged to observe much more in silence, patiently. I opened up to be more confident even if the events seemed to foreshadow the worst situations.
I learned to shut up in fact, in a way!
But also to take a step back and listen.
I learned to be more strategic, in respect of what I did not know and the admiration of what I discovered. My locks have accompanied me throughout this period, sometimes extremely painful as well.
….
2018, last year, was an important milestone for me, there was a very special event at the beginning of the year, in February, (I will not reveal all my secrets…) following which I immediately felt the need to cut my locks.
I wondered why?
It is unquestionable that I started a new cycle while I carried still the stress of the previous years on the top of my head.
It is undeniable that the hair is not destroyed, it carries your story for life.
With one single hair, you can trace your journey, whether if you have had a depression, 3 years ago or if you have experienced a period of famine, 10 years ago.
Literally, it is undeniable that I carried the stress of these formative years on the top of my skull.
Sincerely, I didn’t want to cut at all, so I resisted. But one evening, the idea became too strong, almost obsessive.
I only thought of one thing I had to cut the hair!
But, I couldn’t imagine my daughters discovering my shaven head waking up. Especially since I had promised them not to cut my hair any more. When they woke up that morning, I told them about it, they understood, they accepted the idea and wanted to participate, cutting the hair off for me.
During an administrative procedure during that morning, I had a document to fill out and sign, asking the date, I was handed a form:
“We are the X, something I kept in mind because I had just heard on the radio that we were on the first day of spring”
It was at that moment that it tilted in my mind, that was the answer I expected.
I had cut my locks to start this new cycle, the first day of spring, the season of renewal.
What a coincidence isn’t it?
I guess I will certainly have locks again, but they will have a completely different symbolic impact …
Our hair is an energy carrier, beyond culture or ethnic type. Whatever we do with it, let’s treat it with respect and conscience.
Treating it chemically impacts our balance.
Wearing locks without the consciousness that goes with it has real consequences on well-being.
I meet so many women who do not understand their permanent malaise. They do not pay attention to their diet, the jewellery and stones they wear, their menstrual cycle, their environment, their hair …
We must reclaim these strong elements of ourselves as an entity. To reclaim what has been stolen from us to be replaced by fashion which distance us from ourselves.
It is of course, if our choice is to awaken…
….
